7 Habits of Highly Annoying Stans


Habit #1 - Pick an Annoyingly Pretentious Artist Roster

 

There is an unspoken competition in stan wars, which measures which stan can name-drop the most eclectic and obscure music references. The object of the game is to name musical references so obscure that other stans have to go to Google. (What's the point of listening to music if you can't rub your tastes in other people's face to make yourself feel superior?)

That's not to say that it's impossible to like different genres of music while enjoying modern pop music, but I have to call bullshit on some of you stans. It's not the fact that you can barely spell the names of the artists that you "stan" for, but one could argue that if you had a true appreciation for artists of different genres and generations then you would know that many talented artists have never received a Grammy, a #1 single or even a gold record. Yet despite your appreciation of "real artists", you spend large portions of your day arguing about the Scandinavian airplay stats of artists who were created in a record label meeting room.

That doesn't mean you can't play along with everybody else. The key to pretending to have a diverse musical palate is variety. Your artist roster should contain the following:

1. Your ACTUAL Favorite
2. Any rock artist from any era (bonus points if it's not Coldplay)
3. One R&B Artist From the 90's, 80's, 70's or 60's (bonus points if they're dead)
4. One UK Act (bonus points if it's not Adele)
5. One rapper (bonus points if they've never worked with Lil' Wayne)
6. One Urban/Alternative/Neo-Soul/ Incense Burning/Centric/VH1 Soul-ass artist
7. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones (I'm serious)
8. Lana Del Rey
9. Adele
10. Prince or Frank Ocean

If you are having a hard time coming up with a pretentious-ass roster, use the Stan Wars Pretentious-Ass Artist Roster Generator.