The Stan Version of The Truth
On This Page
Britney Spears is a pop legend who is of equal talent, impact, and influence as Michael Jackson and Madonna and her first two albums outsold your fave’s entire discography.
Britney was raised in Kentwood, Louisiana. She was a very happy and energetic child because she knew that one day her first two albums would outsell your fave’s entire discography.
When she was 11 years old, she joined the cast of the Mickey Mouse Club with Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, and Ryan Gossling, who would all go on to become superstars while Britney went on to have two albums that outsold your fave’s entire discography.
When Britney was 17 years old, she released her debut album, the first of two albums that have outsold your fave’s entire discography.
For the next decade, she would establish herself as a bonafide pop icon with two albums that outsold your fave’s entire discography.
Today she continues to record and perform, but now divides her time between hosting the American version of X-Factor and raising her two beautiful children — one child for each album that has outsold your fave’s entire discography.
Talent & Musical Style
Britney is an amazing entertainer whose vocal talent is rivaled only by Aretha Franklin and whose dancing is rivaled only by Michael Jackson. As far as musicianship, she played piano in concert that one time on that one song so that makes her just as good (if not, better) than Stevie Wonder.
As far as pop stars are concerned the only artists on Britney’s level are Michael Jackson and Madonna. Britney’s career has been one iconic and impactful moment after another. The schoolgirl outfit — everybody wore one, the red latex catsuit — everybody was wearing one. She’s such an iconic impactful icon with a lot of impact and iconicness.
The Hater Version of the Truth
Britney Spears was a popular American entertainer. It is presumed that in 2006 she either died or ran away from her money-hungry money record label and fled to Africa where she now lives quietly with the bush people of Botswana.
Her team had planned to announce her death and get those Michael Whitney Winehouse Jackson sympathy sales, but they realized that over the course of the previous years, something strange had happened. Although the millions of teenage girls who had stanned for Britney had moved on, their power-bottom younger brothers had found their thrown away CD’s and became Britney stans themselves. Once Britney’s team realized there were hundreds of millions of dollars to be made from these cock-hungry pillow biters, they knew they couldn’t announce Britney’s
But how could they have Britney concerts, albums, and videos without Britney actually there?
They called the people who made the 2Pac hologram and the people who designed the puppets on Sesame Street and, to make a long story short, for the past 7 years, the Britney we’ve seen on TV and in concert has been a series of holograms, life-sized puppets and body doubles.
That’s why Britney is working on X-Factor where she gets to sit for most of the show (so you can’t see Demi Lovato and Simon Cowell working the controls that make her mouth and eyeballs move.)
Resources For New Britney Stans
Advantages of Stanning For Britney
Did I mention that her first two albums outsold your fave’s entire discography?
Disadvantages of Stanning For Britney
Britney doesn’t sing or dance that much anymore (or show many other human attributes), so be prepared for a bunch stans trying to throw shade at Britney’s current state. She is a pop icon and she should get credit for time served, but in the fickle “What have you done for me lately?” stan culture some of Britney’s so-called “fans” are quick to jump ship in favor of artists who are slightly more popular, but don’t have half of Britney’s achievements and impact.